In any healthy relationship, sooner or later, often or rarely the soul inside you craves to be a lone wolf. One such time, I confessed to BH, that I needed sometime for myself and co-incidentally he had some work in Bengaluru the same week.
He left, and for the next few minutes
I danced around like a monkey, switched the music on to its maximum volume, threw a vessel down on the floor, *BANG*, (Thank God my neighbours were on a vacation!) I enjoyed such little freedoms :)
Cleaned every nook and corner. Made our home dust-free.
Watched a horror-movie, which BH would NOT have allowed me to watch. Well, that night I heard weird sounds which made me check every room and every closet to make sure no one was lurking there. I slept with a thunderous heartbeat.
Go hubby time. Come hobby time. Did water painting, and this is what I came up with. I am no professional. Use of colors make me happy.
Ofcourse, I read books.
I was bored to death to cook for just myself. I cooked once in the morning, ate that in the afternoon and then again in the night. There was no-one to appreciate my cooking.
There was no cloth to pick-up from the sofa/bed/table/chair. No wet towels to dry. No 'remote' fights. No-one to peep into what I was reading.
I was dull and feeling low despite good-books, clean home etc. Was I missing clothes lying around? small fights? Wet-towels? All these imperfections made my life worth living? And that is when I realized Being imperfect is just "perfect"!
Pondering over these series of incidents threw light on a few thoughts which criss-crossed my mind.
We may have been born to be together for life, but what we should not forget is that we were born ALONE separately. So, when the basic penchant for solitude is rewarded, happiness ensues. How long? That depends. For me it was 2-3 days.
It is quite common in a relationship for anyone to give up a part of themselves to make a life together. As I have understood "giving space" and "leaving alone" are two different things. Giving space is "Being alone-together" and leaving alone is the absolute "alone". There maybe people who think differently.
An individual changes everyday. Sometimes, there is growth or decay which go unnoticed in the routine of day-to-day lives. Such changes which are a part of you now, need timely attention. Taking some time out to dream, create, re-invent, rejoice our-self will help us grow into individuals who we can recognize and be satisfied with.
So, whenever you need time for yourself. This is the Mantra.
Communicate. Unwind. Nurture.
And BH is back.
*Loud voice heard in the evening*
Tigers piss on the trees to mark their territory and you mark yours by strewing your clothes all around!